Three Things you need to know on your Self Love Journey

Three Things you Need to Know on your

Self Love Journey


It is not Comfortable


A critical part of Self Love is identifying your strengths, talents, qualities, and simply things you like about yourself. It is also examining thoughts, behaviors, or patterns that are not in alignment with your values and who you aspire to be. When we move into a space where we are examining the relationship we have with ourselves we may run into deeper issues: Not being able to see the good, negative self talk, poor body image, and low self confidence are just some examples. When we run into these tender vulnerabilities, our first instinct may be to withdraw or to place the same old bandage there just to get by. However, I want to encourage you to Heal. Healing is a process. Think of a physical injury, lets say an open wound. There is a certain amount of pain required to reach to the other side of healing. It may be the alcohol, the stitches, pulling the object out, or cleaning the wound. This is often the case for emotional wounds. You may need to go through the pain of addressing the root of your hurt versus just covering it. So embrace the uncomfortableness of it. Consider who might be able to help you facilitate that healing process like a therapist, coach, support groups, or mentor. Let your pain do its part to aid you in your Self Love journey.  





Expect to Unlearn and Learn

Years before we became adults, we operate in someone else’s narrative. When we enter into adulthood, we start taking a closer look into why we think, act, and behave the way we do. As apart of your self- love journey you will most likely find things that you must unlearn. Here are some examples. If you had to raise younger siblings, you may have to unlearn the urge to put everyone else’s needs before your own. If you never saw your guardian rest, you may have to unlearn that resting equals laziness or failure. You may have to unlearn that yelling is the only way to be seen and appreciated. A good starting place is to notice areas of distress in your life. Simply put, what is not working and is no longer beneficial for you. Another way to look at it is what areas are not in alignment with your values or ideal self. After you have identified it, ask yourself: What skill/ resource do I need to learn/utilize  to replace this one? Do I need to take a parenting class?, do I need to go to therapy?, do I need to read a book on love languages? One way to look at the Self Love journey is to determine what needs to be taken out, revamped, replaced, or reviewed so that I can cultivate my best self. That requires the unlearning and learning process. Take control of your own narrative, write your own story, and feel free to make revisions as needed.


Self-Compassion is a MUST


We’ve been talking about all the work required on the Self Love Journey. I know, I know. One important thing to remember is how you treat yourself throughout this process is so imperative to your progress. You may find when you start digging that the journey is going  to be just that, a journey, a process, it Is going to take time. Do not take this realization to beat up on yourself. Instead give yourself some compassion. Love on you, validate you, and give yourself permission to not put a hard deadline on your healing. One thing to note is that YOU are the only person who can facilitate your healing. No matter how someone wants you to get better, it is up to you. So you need to be on your side. Talk to yourself like you would a friend, continue to reach out for support, and be kind to yourself.


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