From the age of 20-25, I was in an on again/off again toxic relationship. During that period of time, I did not know my worth as a woman. I found myself in this position all too often with my ex, break up to makeup. It was a revolving cycle for five years. I knew I deserved better, but it was my comfort zone.
When you get to a place in life where you’re comfortable being in a negative and toxic environment you have to re-evaluate your self-love, self-esteem, and self-worth. At that time mine was low. Some ask what made you finally walk away? I believe every woman gets to that point in life where enough is enough! I was tired of the lies, the anger, the mental/physical abuse, lack of accountability, and lack of motivation.
It was a Saturday, which was “OUR” day. On this particular Saturday, I decided to purchase a new car. I had recently started my new career after completing graduate school that year, it had been about three months that I’d been on my new job and I wanted to reap the benefits of my hard labor. So I decided to purchase a new car. This particular Saturday was also my godson’s birthday. So after I left the dealership with my new vehicle (soooo excited and thanking God!) I headed to Chuck E. Cheese for my Godson’s birthday party.
My ex was aware that I was going to the dealership that day and that I was going to Chuck E. Cheese later that evening for my godson’s birthday party. After the party ended I headed to my ex’s dorm ( he was still in college at the time). When I arrived in my new car, he had this sour look on his face and he said, “We need to have a talk about this car”, to make a long story short when we got inside his dorm room, he began yelling and screaming at me for purchasing the new vehicle, he choked slammed me against the wall and push me to the ground. I was hysterical, I couldn’t believe that what had been such a joyous day for me, has turned into chaos and violence. I immediately grabbed my keys with tears in my eyes and ran out of the dorm room. My ex right on my tail ran behind me. Once I got to my car, he snatched the keys away and wouldn’t give them back. He was in my face yelling and screaming about the new car purchase, somehow I got the keys back, I left, and went home.
I stayed up that night just in shock of what had happened. I didn’t deserve this. Over a new car??? This man isn’t even my husband. However, I knew the anger he ensued that night was not just about the car, it was about me moving forward in life, progressing, and becoming successful, while he remained stagnant. It was a slap in his face to his male ego.
After that night I ended that relationship for good. Now I must say it was not easy at all leaving a five year relationship. The soul-tie was sooooo strong, but I knew I deserved better. About a month after the breakup I began seeing a life coach and a counselor to help me through my issues and what got me to this point.
It’s been 6.5yrs since I left my ex and I have never looked back. I have no regrets and I’m glad that God’s grace and mercy allowed me to permanently leave that situation. I’m currently single and I am in such a great head space. I’ve taken the time to find out who Ashley is, what I need, want, and deserve. Ladies never ever settle or become complacent in a negative/toxic relationship. You are a Queen and you deserve better. God has much better for you. I don’t care how hard you think it is to leave, YOU CAN DO IT.
