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Unplanned Pregnancy

Thoughts on considering alternatives

I believe that all things work for our good; Not always in the perspective or outcome that we prefer, but always for our good.

I want to address the event of having a child not only outside of the covenant of marriage, but also outside of the vision you have for your life.

As many of us know, many women choose to have an abortion because they feel it is their only option. Whether it be suggested by a partner, parent or oneself.

The pressures of making this decision are personal, but they stem from the fear of rejection or failure and insecurities of our own self-image. The fear of disapproval from prominent figures in our lives such as: family, church family, professional influences and other opinions that we consider of value in our lives, also play a role in shaping the decision of abortion.

I want to say that if you feel forced to do it, you shouldn’t! No one else can make this decision, but you.

I want to share my personal experience with considering abortion.

Many of us envision our lives as a mother in a traditional way. The sequence of events leading up to motherhood in our minds are like many of the women we know. First, graduating college, being established in a profession, dating the man of our dreams for two years, becoming engaged, then married, purchasing a home and then becoming a mother.

Now don’t get me wrong. This sequence of events is a reality for some, and it is a good thing when it happens. However, everyone’s life is not the same and we should not base life changing decisions on the comparison of other people’s lives or even on the hopes of what we wanted for ourselves. After all, if you had consensual affairs and pregnancy was the result of that, you knew what may happen. When it comes to the presence of another life we carry, the decision is no longer as simple as what we wanted for ourselves. Now you are accountable for another life.

Being pregnant with my son just three months after his dad and I met, I was nervous and unsure as to what parenting would be like with him to say the least. However, I had always wanted children and at twenty-six years of age, I wanted my baby despite how uncertain the future was with his dad. Besides, it wasn’t as if I was unaware of the possibilities of becoming pregnant.

When my pregnancy was confirmed by a test at a local pregnancy clinic, a warm surge of uncertain emotions came over me and my head was spinning. It wasn’t long until he was asking me to terminate the pregnancy. He urged me, desperately trying to convince me that it was the right thing for us to do. It wasn’t the right thing for us, it was the right thing for him. He wasn’t thinking about me at all. I was baffled and confused as to why he was asking this of me when he knowingly enabled this possibility just as I had.

In that moment, my convictions were strong. I was beginning to ponder that I was going to be a single mother. I lied to him and said that I would do it, but in my heart of hearts, I knew that I could never. I cried there in the car as he held me and told me that everything would be okay. He said that we would have another child later when we were ready. The betrayal that I felt released the flow of my tears. I sobbed in disbelief at what I was experiencing. In my spirit I began to cry out to GOD. What had I gotten myself into?!

This being my circumstance, I was rocked with an identity crisis. None of this, save becoming a mother, was what I wanted. The way I wanted motherhood was certainly not like this.

Nearing my fifth month of pregnancy, after a really bad few weeks of arguing, I seriously gave abortion some thought. I googled: “Last month of pregnancy to get an abortion.” I had felt so drained and helpless. I hated the circumstance I was in. I was beginning to hate this man and I hated that I was having his child. In that moment, it was as if abortion were giving me a glimpse of hope. Like I had an option to live a normal life again. A life I wanted for myself before this predicament. I had an opportunity, though tragic, to move on with my life and forget him.

I was so heartbroken and devastated that I began to be led astray by thinking that ending this life that grew inside of me, that did not ask to be here, who was the result of my choices to engage in sex with another person was a beneficial option. As I researched and watched videos describing the procedure, I knew in my spirit that it was something I could not actually bring myself to do.

I made the decision to keep the life that grew inside of my womb, despite the uncertainties of the future. Despite the fact I wasn’t married and would more than likely be a single mother. I decided to keep my baby. To me, there was no other option in the eyes of The Most High. At that point, I was more concerned about what He thought than I was concerned about what my church, family or others would think. What was growing inside of me was greater than even what I wanted for myself.

Though the personal choices I had made that got me into this predicament had no evidence of the fear or reverence of The LORD, when being faced with the decision to abort, I was brought back to regarding Him and began to focus my perspective on what would please Him from my situation.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” Hosea 4:6

“The fear of The LORD is the beginning of knowledge…” Proverbs 1:7

Deciding to get an abortion, or hopefully not to, is a personal decision. It is an option that is ultimately your choice. But here is a question for you: Are you going to fear man: your partner leaving you, your parents, your church family etc., or are you going to fear GOD? Are you going to escape your current reality in exchange for a lifelong sentence of trauma? Are you going to grieve the loss of your life as you knew it or are you going to grieve the loss of the unborn life you will never know?

Though unforeseen to you, your actions are of no surprise to GOD. So why feel ashamed? He knows. He is not going to be upset with you for keeping your baby. Let’s tell the truth, He will forgive you if you decide to get an abortion. However! The consequences of getting an abortion are far greater and more devastating than if you choose not to.

Now I am not speaking to women who are pregnant as a result of being raped. If this is your story, please seek professional counseling, preferably someone who loves The Lord and His people. My utmost compassion goes out to you.

I am in no ways trying to judge anyone in any circumstance. Even those in a similar scenario as I was and who choose contrary to what I did. Besides, for those who face a different scenario than I have, I can never judge what I have never been through.

Of course, we want to aim for GOD’s perfect and pleasing will. All I can say is, when His perfect and pleasing will does not happen, He then exercises His permissible will in our lives.

I want you to know that GOD is still GOD! He still loves you; He still has a plan for your life, and He still cares for you!

It may be a surprise to you, your church, family or friends, but it is no surprise to GOD! Receive the benefits of His omniscience and grace, today!

If you’re reading this and you are confronted with a hard decision, I want you to know that every decision is easy when you put GOD first!

May we grow to value what He values, think on what pleases Him and love what He loves.

Whatever you are faced with, submit your cares to Him and watch Him move on your behalf! During unforeseen life changes, heartbreak, through all transitions and stages, put Him first and just watch how He comes through for you! He is love.

As for moving forward, whether you be a single parent raising a child on your own, co-parenting in different households or reunited to one another, may you choose life.

The Most High bless you!

Vaya Boone

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