Was Your Relationship Meant to End?

Today's blog post "Was Your Relationship Meant to End? was inspired by a statement from Dharius Daniels as I listened to a sermon he preached in which he stated... Some relationships were destined to grow apart others were not and did not have to grow apart but they grew apart because we didn’t do our part!... ~If your relationship ended it’s your job to understand why not cry because the King appointed some folks to pass by to help identify that you already had the ability to fly.~ Coach Sam

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel any sadness over a relationship ended. However, I do want you to know that in some instances relationships that ended were meant to end for three reasons.

Arguments and Disagreements from Day 1

As you know couples will argue and disagree at times. They are different people. They have different mindsets. They grow up most times in different environments and with different expectations on what is and is not acceptable. Still if you and the person you’re with start out arguing on day one that’s a major red flag that this relationship was never meant to be a lifetime relationship.

Typically, on day one people are either super excited to get to know someone or too shy to reveal their true self and expectations to end up in a full fledged argument going back and forth like there’s no tomorrow. Anytime your relationships start like this you should understand that the person you’re with is not bringing out the best in you.

You’re both adults and just because you disagree with him doesn’t mean you have to turn into a roaring lioness and the same goes for him. He should respect you enough to not turn into a roaring loin. Contrary to popular belief screaming, waving your hand or finger in the air or in someone’s face is not necessary to get your point across.

Furthermore, if your first conversation is a blowout argument and the disagreement seems   never end so much so that all you do when you speak or get together with this person is argue and disagree, then it should not come as shock when the relationship ends. Truly if that’s all you two did, what you really had was a fierce debate opponent.


No Peace About Forward Movement

This leads me to my second point – no peace about forward movement. You see it’s hard to be in a state of peace or have peace at all when you’re spending all your time and energy yelling, screaming, fussing, and sometimes cursing and throwing things or at the very least feeling like you want to throw things. Or better yet pull a Jasmine Sullivan and bust the windows out his car.

Nothing about that is peaceful. It’s not peaceful to constantly feel the need to question him about where he’s been, what he’s been doing, and who has he been doing it with – only to have him look at you crazy. Or give you some response that you know is a lie that doesn’t even make sense that Ray Charles even in his grave today can see clear through.

To be in a state of mind and mental space where you constantly feel as though there’s no possible way to move forward and have the relationship grow speaks volumes. Because anything relationship that isn’t moving forward is stuck where it is and will remain in its current state. Or it’s dying daily so soon there won’t be any discussion you will need nor should you want to have in your life.

As I’ve said before I say again, there’s a lot of miserable married people and you don’t want to become one of them. Marriage is a partnership and you should enjoy the person you choose to partner with to do life, especially when you’ve said I do because that means you’re signing up for a lifetime. Okay!


Spiritual Unalignment

And while divorce is an option, why put yourself through it unnecessarily. Yet sometimes that’s what we do as we over look spiritual unalignment, but the crazy thing is Queens in our relationships that fail it’s typically there from the start. Even if we’re unaware at first at some point spiritual unalignment shows up and causes us to fuss.

We find ourselves frustrated and disappointed with this man, because we know spiritually, he’s not where he should be and needs to be to lead us. We’re looking at him and listening to the things he’s saying and we need and want more. For example, you say, I want to hear a gospel song and he turns around to say naw let’s save that for a Sunday, let’s listen to half on a baby…

This man has just told he puts Jesus on a shelf until Sunday and he’s too busy to even give God a few minutes of his time to hear one song. And you know you’re spiritual unaligned when you talk about the things of God and the man, you’re with or trying to be exclusive with has no clue or better yet tells you he goes to church as needed, talks to God when he feels like it, or isn’t really not into Jesus’ period.

However, instead of seeing that as redirection, think with time he’ll come around if I just wait, or try to be his tour guide and teacher so to speak to show him the way he should go and impress our ideas on him to influence him to see life through our lenses.


So please realize and recognize if your relationships had these issues then they weren’t ever a lifetime types of relationships. There were lessons for you to learn. And those lessons were meant to enable you to be better Queen in your own life, for those you are supposed to impact, and for the King that is for you.


~If your relationship ended it’s your job to understand why not cry because the King appointed some folks to pass by to help identify that you already had the ability to fly.~


Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email