What do you do when things fall apart?


Have you ever had something and it left your grasps? Have you ever longed for something and it seems like everyone around you is living in what you longed for? I understand and know how this feels. Last year what I thought was a loss for me ended up being my WIN. I went through the loss of an engagement, had some professional challenges, challenges with my family and lost a couple of social relationships. Of course I was hurt but I had to change my perspective on all those situations. It seemed like everyone around me was winning but me. With my relationships that didn’t work out, I had to truly realize that if things were meant to be, they still would be. As far as my professional life I had to do some work and recognize my areas of opportunities. See how I changed my perspective for the better to navigate those difficult times:

  1. Prayer: This is the most important step and that is why its listed first. I knew that what I was going through last year was something that had to be cured beyond my human control. I had to consult my creator, my God, Jesus Christ. I know that He is Heaven looking down on me, knowing everything I was going through. In His Word, Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I (Jesus) know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, never to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I had and still do have to trust ad know that He knows my end and what is best for me. The breakup and hurtful experiences felt like rejection but I know that He knows what I need better than me. Sometimes God allows experiences to happen to us as a means of showing :tough love” like am Earthly parent does with their child. The lesson learned in that experience is one that will never be forgotten. That is why it is important to embrace those moments, feel the hurt, and do the work to heal the hurt so that you can grow and become a better person. Don’t go through a tough experience only to be the same person you were in the beginning. Learn the lesson and grow. It is through prayer (verbal and written) I expressed my deepest thoughts, cares, and concerns. I had to be vulnerable and honest with myself and Jesus about my feelings. God can’t heal what we try to hide. Although He already knows what’s going on. He has to see that we are ready and we prove that to Him by taking the first step and admitting there is a problem. It is then He can intervene and begin His work.
  2. Filter what I was feeding myself: This is also another crucial step in changing your outlook on a disappointing situation. I have to admit, the housewives are a vice of mine. I LOVE the housewives and other popular reality tv shows. I loved to be entertained by a good read and some shade. Honestly in this season of my life, I am being so intentional with what I’m feeding myself that I have cut my time by 50+% with watching unnecessary things such as reality tv and YES even in the quarantine. I have accomplished so much towards my personal projects with the time I would have been spending watching tv. I knew that to change my perspective changes within my heart had to occur. What would be making my heart not right? Listening to harsh music, and looking a grown women in designer clothes degrading each other on tv was not contributing to cleansing my heart. The Bible tells us to guard our hearts because out of it flows the issues of life. If I am filling my heart with negativity, that energy then flows to my mind and spirit and will eventually manifest itself into my words and actions. So filtering and limiting or completely eliminating my exposure to those negative things helped me to get a changed mind. I started feeding myself more things that would build my spirit and enhance my quality of life. Things such as reading books, looking at various educational YouTube videos and positive influencers, as well as buying courses that were geared around things I needed help on to kick start my personal project goals. All these things occupied my time and interested me so much that these things became second nature to me and interested me more than the reality television I was in-taking before.
  3. Deciding that I was going to be the change I wanted to see: Your next level in life literally depends on your mindset. In all we do our mind is leads us. Our mind is powerful. It can control how we feel, what we do, and the way we do things. Life is all about choices. If you want to break a habit or be better, you have to make that choice. If you want to forgive, you have to make that choice. That is exactly what I had to do when life didn’t work out exactly how I thought it would, I had to simply make the choice. There are things we have to choose and not choose. I made the choice to not stay angry at my ex. I made the choice to forgive myself and people that hurt me. I made the choice to become a better me despite what others may think. I MADE THE CHOICE. I know that I didn’t want to live a life of unhappiness and not being in peace. Life can’t change unless we do. If you want to lose weight, you have to choose to exercise and eat healthy. The weight won;t walk itself off of you. You have to choose to be disciplined in your approach to your decisions. It is called being intentional. Once we are intentional about our life and goals for it, our decisions should fall in line with those things and be of better quality. What do you need to make the choice about?



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