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What Does It Mean To Set Boundaries?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SET A BOUNDARY

 

Boundaries can be defined as the limits we set with other people, to keep ourselves safe (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually) which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behavior towards us. The boundary should be focused on keeping yourself in not using your energy to keep someone else out (you are entitled to your own thoughts and opinions, as are others).

 

WHY IS IT HARD TO SET BOUNDARIES?

 

You can feel guilty setting a line and are afraid of hurting feelings. We’re also reluctant to set boundaries for fear of being disliked or rejected.

 

STEPS TO SETTING BOUNDARIES

 

Step 1: Identity what boundaries are being crossed (and by whom?).

Step 2: Know the benefits of setting better boundaries. (How will you be better for doing this, How will things change for you as a result, How do I feel when I cross one of the boundaries I’ve set for myself)

Step 3: Begin setting boundaries.

 

 

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN YOU SET YOUR BOUNDARY

 

 

  1. Know your limits

  2. Tune into your feelings.

  3. Be firm 

  4. Practice self-awareness.

  5. Let yourself feel your feelings

  6. Consider your past and present

  7. Make self-care a priority.

  8. Give yourself permission.

  9. Take one another’s feelings into account.

  10.  Show gratitude.

  11.  Be honest.

  12.  Avoid codependence.

  13. Show respect for yourself by having a difference in opinion, perspective, and feelings.

 

 

EXAMPLE

 

Scenario- When a friend or family member calls me and wants me to do something for them or go somewhere with them I always say, “Yes” right away.

 

My Boundary- From now on when I get asked to do something or go somewhere, instead of saying, yes, right away, I will say something like this:

“Thank you for thinking of me to help you out or to go to (such and such a place) with you with you, but I’ll need  (X) amount of time” to think about it before I give you my answer.”

 

 

 

 

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