What he needs


Dr. Maslow told us back in the ’40s that there are 5 main drivers of the human spirit. He said that the foundation of a person’s needs is biological (food, water, sustenance) in order to support survival. From there is safety and security. Well, that makes sense. If you do not have sustenance to sustain life, then there simply is no need for anything else that comes after that. If you have not survived, then you are unable to realize any of the other experiences of life. The next rung going upward on the ladder is essentially love and acceptance followed by self-esteem and the intangibles that support it. Finally there is self-actualization or accomplishment. Think about this in your own life. Wouldn’t you want food and nutrition to help you to live before anything else? Wouldn’t you want to experience the safety and security of shelter and living free of persecution and danger? How about love? Would that help to add to the quality of your life? You get the idea as you think up Dr. Maslow’s ladder. Not surprisingly, this is common to all human beings, and so it is with the man that you share your life with. He too is human and experiences these same needs. However, it goes a step further when you consider what he needs to actually make him feel fulfilled not only as a human but as a man…a man in a relationship with a woman. Fundamentally, he needs to feel trusted, admired and supported. He needs a soft spot to land on, and he also needs what Dr. John Gray calls his “cave” experience where he is able to think, ponder, problem solve and figure out how to be the hero that you need him to be. If you are the antidote to his malady, then he is given the green light to be the best man that he can be. After all, when a man loves, his woman has the power to provide what he needs to inspire him to be the best man that he can be.

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