What is a man?

Men and women are fundamentally different. Get this, and you're on your way to succeeding in your male-female love life.


As a child growing up, I heard the nursery rhyme that said “girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, and boys are made of lizards, snails and puppy dog tails”. It sounds kind of cute and funny, but this little childish euphemism may be viewed as holding some form of truth. In general, the traditional way of considering a woman is to see her as being tender, nurturing, soft and gentle, whereas a man is considered to have more true grit and toughness. My colleague, Tony Gaskins, describes him as being a warrior, a hunter, a heat-seeking missile capable of destruction. He is a natural protector and provider. In fact, the Bible says that where a mans treasure is, there lies his heart also. A man takes care of what/who he loves. He is a provider. The point being that it is important that women, the backbone of the love relationship, see that there is a distinct difference between the nature of women and men. We often make the mistake of thinking that the man is also a woman, so we attribute womanly characteristics and thought processes to him. We don’t see that his instincts, drive and needs are different than that of a woman, and we become depressed, flustered, angry and perhaps aggressive when he does not behave as we believe he should. Conversely, he becomes confused when we demonstrate these behaviors. He and his buddies begin to think that we are “complicated”. We forget who he is although Langston Hughes said that “we are the sum of our experiences”, and we discount not only his fundamental male nature but his experiences and male world-view as well. We ascribe womanly traits and our own experiences to him not realizing that he is a human- totally independent of the woman (and visa versa). This is where women begin to lose their power to succeed in a relationship with the man who loves them. Ladies, remember, you are the yin to his yang, and he is the yang to your yin. You are not both yin, and you’re not both yang.

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