LOGAN KING A E

What to do when you feel like your relationship is putting you in a “sunken place”

Get out! Walk away, retreat when you feel like your relationship is putting you in a sunken state of mind. I know it’s easier said than done however that is the first action you want to take when your mental health is being compromised or if you feel like this relationship is bringing you down and not lifting you up. When you feel you are only a fraction of who you are or must change yourself to fit in with his agenda instead of you two individuals merging as one, then you my dear need to GET OUT!

Get out! Walk away, retreat when you feel like your relationship is putting you in a sunken state of mind. I know it’s easier said than done however that is the first action you want to take when your mental health is being compromised or if you feel like this relationship is bringing you down and not lifting you up. When you feel you are only a fraction of who you are or must change yourself to fit in with his agenda instead of you two individuals merging as one, then you my dear need to GET OUT!

How women find themselves in the sunken place:

  • A perceived lack of options- When you feel this is the best you can do; this man to you will feel like the best you’ll ever have. No man is irreplaceable, when your needs are no longer being met and you feel you are in a one-sided relationship that’s the moment that this person just ejected themselves out of having a place in your heart.
  • Not busy enough- When you have too much free time, you have just the right time for a time waster to come in. When the thrill of talking to a man, finding a man, getting a man, texting a man is your only source of entertainment or excitement, then you are most likely setting your heart up for manipulation. Men can sense desperation and when you have little else going on in your life and will use that to their advantage. I strongly believe nothing will satisfy you like your purpose can. It’s your job to find out what you’re on earth to do and when you find out, do it every day.  
  • Forgetting they are the prize- Sis, you are a whole blessing, act like it! You are not a consolation prize given over to any man that shows up; stop giving your time and attention to a man that hasn’t set himself apart from the rest. He needs to work to earn your love, your heart, and your time because you are the blessing. Have “the man becomes the prize when he finds me,” energy.

How to get out of the sunken place in your relationship- what to do when you are ready to move on:

  • Distance yourself from the relationship– We know about the no contact rule, and some people use it as a tactic to get the other person to react and chase you instead however, I say implement the no contact rule which means going radio silent on the person you were just in a relationship with so that means no phone calls, text or meeting up. You need to distance yourself from the situation, so you evaluate the relationship and ask yourself:
    • How is this relationship making me feel- anxious or happy? Loved or stressed out.
    • Is this what I thought my ideal relationship would look like? Why or why not?
    • If someone I loved was me in this relationship, would I tell them to leave or stick it out, why or why not?
  • Rebuild yourself– A relationship that puts you in the sunken place can have you forget how bomb you really. Most likely you spent most of your time in the relationship trying to prove your worth to the other person that you’ve depleted your own worth it in your own mind. Think about the compliments you’ve received, think about the things you love about yourself, like are you a good supportive friend? Are you good with money, do you help others? Think about the things that make you feel special and good about yourself; you need to embrace yourself with your own love and not try to get it from external sources. Remind yourself of the things you like about yourself.

In conclusion:

You now must do your due diligence in finding someone else to play as a leading man in your life. Many women stop auditioning when they find one may that “can act,” the part, forgetting that in love like in show business you should always have a stand in just in case the leading star cannot perform when it’s show time. Remember the show just like your love life must go on and one monkey don’t stop no show.

I believe a shift in mindset needs to take place in most women. Stop feeling like this one guy is the only guy that can play a leading role in your story. No continue to have an open cast and auditions until one man steals the show of your heart. Acting like this guy is a once in a lifetime guy will always be your downfall.

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