When it comes to marriage, people will judge you without ever living in between your four walls. I refuse to stay in an unhealthy situation because of what “people” may think. I have been openly judged because I have been married multiple times, and the marriages ended in divorce. Some of those same people had multiple children with a man they had been with for over ten years with no commitment of marriage. I never understood how I could be judged for requiring a commitment (although it did not work out) but I can’t judge you for not requiring a man make you a wife before making you a mother. Not to mention how this opens you up to multiple health issues like sexually transmitted diseases and other lifelong ramifications. Again, not judging, just illustrating the hypocrisy. I was always taught that marriage was something to aspire to, I still believe it to this day after my failed marriages. Had I lowered my standards and accepted less than what I deserved, then I could have very well been like some with only having been married one time. Neither situation makes one person better than the next and none of us are perfect.
I have witnessed women that will proudly post about #Teamnokids but fail to mention their abortions. There are women who will gloat about all of their children being by one man but fail to mention that all of his kids are not by her. If they are all by her, there is the lying, abuse, cheating and just plain disrespect they endured throughout the entire relationship just to be able to keep up the façade of a happy family. There are women who will call a woman out of her name for talking to her husband but won’t admit that her husband disrespected his vows, yet she continues to stay with him. There are also women who talk down on those who have never been married because they refuse to stand for the disrespect. Those same women fail to mention that they played the fool for seven years in an on and off relationship while the man went out and tried to make connections with other women. After he couldn’t find anyone to deal with his childish behavior, he “settled” for them and now they have the title of “wife”. Same with the woman who holds her bachelor’s degree but only makes minimum wage. She looks down on the woman with a high school diploma or GED yet she is on her way to financial security with her own business. Then there is the woman who will talk down about her friend who has been divorced twice because she chose peace for herself and her children. All the while she is putting up with stress and drama, allowing her kids to go through a childhood they will have to heal from, all to get left in the end. She did all of that staying and compromising her worth only to end up in the same boat with the ones who left after the first sign of disrespect.
I am not condoning nor condemning any of these situations. We all know right from wrong, but we also fall short. I am all about uplifting men and women alike and encouraging people to forgive themselves for their past. I am simply shedding light on the fact that NONE of us are perfect and we all fall short. In order to grow and strengthen one another we must not condemn, talk down on or put yourself above anyone just because they sin differently than you! We all experience trials in life so please understand that even if you have not had many, you have more to go as well! I am speaking on this as a Co-Parenting Life Coach simply because in this circumstance, you will likely have to work together with others who have faced some of these challenges. Blended families and Co-Parenting do not have to be a negative thing if we can all try to be more understanding and have compassion for one another. Lead in love and accept others without judging their circumstances, we never know the options they had to choose from. In the same regard, when they judge you, Pray for them. Their judgment of you is a reflection of their own insecurities.
-Miss Kris
