The following is an excerpt taken from my book that I am currently writing. The part that I’ve included below is taken from a section where I talk about the hard lesson I learned after dating an older man who was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. At the time, I was 21 years old and studying abroad in Florence, Italy and I happened to meet this man from my window:
I knew that I had finally gotten over him if I was able to laugh as I watched him interact with another women. As much as I wanted to blame him for treating me as he did, I could only blame myself. He only did what I allowed him to do. I allowed myself to start liking an older man that I told myself I wouldn’t. How was I supposed to stop my heart from falling for him if I was making every excuse in the book to hang out with him?
The reality is that I should’ve never gotten with him to begin with. I was at such a low and lonely point in my life that allowing him into my life ended up doing me more harm than good.
He did end up holding the mirror up to my face though. Through him, I learned not to keep running back to someone who clearly doesn’t want me, or someone that I clearly don’t even want. Relationships are work, but it’s not soul-sucking or draining work; especially if the relationship is healthy and both parties are giving to each other.
Unfortunately, my view of love and relationships were so skewed that I believed that I was supposed to chase after love. I believed that I could win the attention and full love of someone. If I just gave a little more, or if I just said the right thing, they would finally see my worth.
There will be more to come when I finish writing my book.
Until then, if you need help with a relationship (getting out of a toxic situation or getting over heartbreak) please don’t hesitate to book a session with me.
I’m here to help.