Sometimes the ones you love the most. The ones who watched your growth. Know you! Know who you are! Know where your coming from! Will put you beneath their wings. When for sure, all you want from them is, for them to do their respective part. A very small part. To wake up to the occasion. Will bombard you with nonsense.
Awaiting in the back ground for you to come. And when you get there. They don’t really hear what your asking of them, and they don’t hear what your saying. They already have a script prepared for you. They may even wanna attack you. Okay, attack, that’s an inappropriate word for this situation. Though I may have felt that kind of way.
I understand clearly that you do better when you know better but that situation was about us raising up a family. Building up together one shared interest that would benefit the group. A family.
When your in the background working so hard to build your brains, your brand, your body for the good of a whole group of loved ones that mean everything to you. Can hurt you if your not careful.
I know I created that experience. Because I expected it before I reached out for assistance. I already knew! So why was I feeling some kinda way about it?
I was feeling some kinda way about it because I heard something deeper than what I wanted to believe. Their questions represented I don’t really care about them like that, I set myself apart from that…
Whatever! But! But, but, but, you see, I really don’t know their truth ike that. Yeah but, I have a gut feeling.
So with all do respect I had to step outside of the box to reflect upon the situation. And open my heart to forgive myself for having this passion to build, to create, and to let go, in love. To God, will be the glory.
It ain’t always about you Celestine. You may be the reflection of someone, or somethings they always wanted to do, to have, to be like as an individual.
Working on the root causes of your own stuff, issues, problems, are hard as hell! But a whole lot of that weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Amen. I’m not afraid of myself. I’m not ashamed of my heritage. I’m not gonna beat myself up about it anymore. Not another damn thing. And so it is.
I live! I love! I learn! Everyday! It is not personal when you know who you are! Stay focused on the things you need to do, to get yourself where you need to be. And do it! Be kind, be gentle and be generous with yourself and others along the way.
We all have our own path to walk. And some of need help along the way. And some of us don’t want the help we need. And some of will do nothing at all. Well I’m gonna live till I die. Amen
Peace & Love Everyone!