Today is my birthday. I am 36 years old and am both excited about my future and grateful for my journey to this point in my life.
But my first call of the day was a debt collector…on my birthday, for a bill I had actually been paying for over a year FAITHFULLY! Yes, even during a pandemic (I’m serious about integrity).
I’ve been abstinent for almost six years (single that entire time) and almost three years ago, God told me who my husband is – specifically. Since it has been so long, I periodically ask for another confirmation – am I going crazy, Lord? I don’t mind partnering with someone else – it doesn’t have to be this guy, I just want who You have for me. God’s Word has not changed.
I’ve been told that many successful professionals and entrepreneurs make the same types of decisions in order to streamline their life. Since my entrepreneurship journey began over eight years ago, I’ve struggled with two of those decisions – finding a mentor and committing to a daily schedule (two things I thought would be the simplest for me).
Every year since having my child (over five years ago) I have committed to losing weight – only to gain it.
My prayer life has yet to return to the point it was when I struggled in my health and legal issues of last year.
I lack in healthy self-care, allowing myself the time and attention to take care of my aging skin and digestion so I can enjoy playing with my child and future grandchildren.
I am STILL over $100K in debt which I simply REFUSE to leave to my child.
My circle of influence needs to shift – I am still afraid to lose certain people in my circle because I fear NOT being the smartest, most accomplished in my team. I know full well that in order to upgrade my life to the point I desire, I should aim to be the DUMBEST, LEAST ACCOMPLISHED in the room – connecting with people that push me to the heights I aspire to be.
I don’t have TIME to complain about what has yet to be fulfilled. I don’t have TIME to waste on relationships that serve me in no way. I don’t have TIME to wallow in self-pity. I don’t have TIME to try to ‘cleanse’ after a weekend binge…EVERY WEEKEND!
Your ‘waiting’ matters, especially how you ‘wait’. There’s a handful of things I am ‘waiting’ for, but so many other things I can work on RIGHT NOW!
Before the financial breakthrough, I can get my healthy habits down so I know my spending habits and am able to delay gratification so I make my God proud of my financial stewardship (Biblical).
Before the husband and I connect, I can allow God to heal my heart in the areas necessary for a blissful marriage and blended family household – not carrying old habits and hurts into a blessed covenant (ie. forgiveness, communication, vulnerability, self esteem, self care, non-dependency, etc).
Before I get the body I want, do I believe I deserve it? Am I going to continue to carry my insecurities, even with a smaller size? Are my diets something I can incorporate into daily preferences so the weight can stay off?
Before I get the business I desire, am I able to keep appointments? Can I commit to being ON TIME as a professional that people actually WANT to work with? Will I actually FOLLOW UP? Will I answer my phone even when I don’t feel like it?
This life is a blessing, it is a journey. WE decide how we ‘wait’ for the desires of our hearts. Tomorrow is NOT promised but that should not mean that we WASTE our current experiences healing, learning, growing, preparing, stretching and strength-building – you’re worth much more than that.