You don’t get to choose your family

In life we often hear things like “family first” or “family over everything.” What if that isn’t the case for your particular family? Your mom doesn’t talk to her close kin and she tries to keep you from them as well. Your siblings are never on the same page. Planning family events never go well. Cookouts never end without an argument or a fight. You don’t trust some of your cousins, you think your nieces and nephews are out of control. No matter how you try to make peace in the family you feel it is all done in vain. Whew, that was exhausting. However, it is not the end of the world. To keep yourself from being stressed and depressed, you must make peace with who your family is. Some people you can make peace with and love from a distance. Unfortunately, making peace seems impossible at times even that feels like a losing battle. Some things you just cannot make right. For example, you know two particular family members don’t get along so you don’t invite one of them to a family event. They find out about the event and feel slighted and left out then call you shady. When really you just tried to keep the peace. It’s hard keeping your mom happy when you know she doesn’t deal with the family; and doesn’t think you should either. She gets upset every time she learns you’ve been around other family members. Being in the middle of this will have you feeling as though you’re being pulled in different angles. Therefore, you have to tell yourself, “this is my family. I choose to stand in peace. I choose to love. I choose to love my family even if it is from a distance. I cannot change a person, but I can change how I react to them. I can’t make them want to act like a family, but I can work on my own children and spouse.” There are many different ways to handle your family dynamics. As long as you understand peace comes first and you cant make everyone happy or people; you’ll be just fine.